We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
