Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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