is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
