Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
