Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize