please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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