What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
