Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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