i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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