What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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