I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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