I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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