It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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