so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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