you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
