im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
