You're my little dorito
I just cut my nipple shaving
im six kinds of drunk right now
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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