life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
