Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize