I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
