I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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