when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
