I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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