where does the pee come out of this thing
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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