What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i've created a new STD.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
