ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
