Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize