i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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