hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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