They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
