Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
