i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
