reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize