I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
