I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
