I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
