Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize