You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
