i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
