Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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