let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
