I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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