Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today

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  (507): I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today http://tfl.nu/y9fa
  Replies (3) Good night (1203) Bad night (1468)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If i could tip my vagina, i would.

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  (616): If i could tip my vagina, i would. http://tfl.nu/vria
  Replies (7) Good night (3505) Bad night (587)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.

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  (785): Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen. http://tfl.nu/ucck
  Replies (14) Good night (4740) Bad night (1556)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

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  (512): You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication. http://tfl.nu/dq9l
  Replies (6) Good night (3169) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.

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  (256): No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gby7
  Replies (25) Good night (9406) Bad night (1092)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!

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  (980): I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!! http://tfl.nu/427k
  Replies (15) Good night (2119) Bad night (1331)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.

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  (623): He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying. http://tfl.nu/tx1i
  Replies (12) Good night (2153) Bad night (1117)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...

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  (801): I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you... http://tfl.nu/j9so
  Replies (11) Good night (2521) Bad night (658)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there

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  (509): he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there http://tfl.nu/265p
  Replies (7) Good night (1552) Bad night (570)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world

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  (+61): I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world http://tfl.nu/cuud
  Replies (1) Good night (927) Bad night (515)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.

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  (541): Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity. http://tfl.nu/lznq
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (617)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.

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  (585): He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota. http://tfl.nu/2rl1
  Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (460)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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  (306): Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right http://tfl.nu/4x80
  Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!

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  (315): Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night! http://tfl.nu/mal7
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.

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  (952): We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/wqik
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (318)

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