Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

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  (403): you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion. http://tfl.nu/ldji
  Replies (16) Good night (6728) Bad night (628)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling

  (415): View more from California

  God, I love San Francisco.

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  (415): Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling (415): God, I love San Francisco. http://tfl.nu/z7fc
  Replies (27) Good night (3062) Bad night (521)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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  (608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw
  Replies (10) Good night (4235) Bad night (626)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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  (618): Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again http://tfl.nu/9mpp
  Replies (34) Good night (6365) Bad night (774)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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  (740): So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes? http://tfl.nu/wyhr
  Replies (11) Good night (1542) Bad night (4012)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?

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  (801): Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman? http://tfl.nu/4t4b
  Replies (9) Good night (3643) Bad night (1069)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  $5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer

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  (205): $5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer http://tfl.nu/vhus
  Replies (9) Good night (2537) Bad night (1203)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".

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  (404): He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer". http://tfl.nu/vh03
  Replies (7) Good night (4327) Bad night (774)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"

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  (845): You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender" http://tfl.nu/qf49
  Replies (3) Good night (1450) Bad night (453)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob

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  (919): I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob http://tfl.nu/wd4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1802) Bad night (582)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.

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  (503): The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/iw9s
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (358)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.

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  (407): If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/rq3w
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (237)
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  (442): View more from California

  Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.

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  (442): Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always. http://tfl.nu/0ay8
  Replies (5) Good night (454) Bad night (1165)
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  (916): View more from California

  Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up

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  (916): Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up http://tfl.nu/2pg5
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (261)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed

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  (606): You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed http://tfl.nu/ihu1
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (205)

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