Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  Wtf?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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  (225): Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!! (1-225): Wtf? (225): Use the slutty part of ur brain. http://tfl.nu/qcnm
  Replies (32) Good night (3095) Bad night (620)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

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  (201): i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around http://tfl.nu/2geo
  Replies (23) Good night (1564) Bad night (2869)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..

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  (515): It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now.. http://tfl.nu/43y7
  Replies (23) Good night (5585) Bad night (762)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now

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  (214): I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now http://tfl.nu/up7f
  Replies (18) Good night (4764) Bad night (1806)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.

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  (510): Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/2xfe
  Replies (34) Good night (1857) Bad night (9981)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

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  (516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j
  Replies (14) Good night (6883) Bad night (1314)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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  (+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2
  Replies (8) Good night (3099) Bad night (1011)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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  (501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9
  Replies (10) Good night (936) Bad night (3101)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.

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  (812): Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair. http://tfl.nu/ggur
  Replies (5) Good night (1618) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.

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  (303): Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass. http://tfl.nu/tyko
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.

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  (+61): If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that. http://tfl.nu/eyt5
  Replies (1) Good night (932) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background

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  (204): You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background http://tfl.nu/bshd
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina

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  (917): I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina http://tfl.nu/n2kg
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  (This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)

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  (330): (This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office) http://tfl.nu/5fmc
  Replies (9) Good night (803) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.

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  (502): My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things. http://tfl.nu/bhbf
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (270)

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