Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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