She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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