Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.