You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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