haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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