I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Green mimosas i think yes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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