so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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