Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You took a bar mat shot.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
