Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
