Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
