Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
