I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
