I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize