you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
