youre lurking in front of me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
