I'm really into asian looking animals
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
