wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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