hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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