I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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