I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
